Of 2016, I may conclude my life as ‘Freedom’. Despite of all the hardships I went through, I realized my heart was at ease. I could do whatever I wanted to do, I got several good jobs with valuable experiences even though at last I decided to stop relying my talents to others; and jumped into my own small business seriously.
The most important is, I don’t have to think about study and exams! :D Tell me is there another joy than that?
Oh before I forgot, let me clarify this as some people keep asking me about my study before.
I quit my study in Degree of Computer Science (Security) last year due to my health problems. I was on my final year already that time. I know I should feel regretted just like how those who asked me felt; but to be honest I don’t feel that. (Some of them also mocked at me having only SPM certification as my mom was graduated from the oversea twenty years back.)
PS: I don’t need that kind of face you give me now because of the reasons anyway.
I was so free this year I can’t never enough be thankful for. But because of the parcel I got last month; my life turns upside down. I don’t have chance to say no, I feel like I was trapped between my own desire and parent’s hope. All my upcoming plans and actions were like; Puff! And they are all gone.
I know I should still be grateful for getting that offer. Moreover, as we are struggling to keep living in this ‘heart-wrecked’ economy, no people would say no once they got a chance to work with the government. No?
I feel happy deep inside, though. The competition was very tough. I was late for half an hour on that interview day , I didn’t even knew who is our health minister, or the background of Ministry of Health. Even so they asked me about political views; all I replied was, ‘I come here to get interviewed about what I’m going to study, what I am capable of, not about politics.’
And when they asked me of why I choose medical lab, not MA like the others; I got them to the point: I don’t like working with people. I prefer getting mad with machines or me alone. (Maybe that is why they give me chance to study Diploma in Pharmacy haha.)
It sounded harsh, I know. That was why I told mom, don’t be too hopeful with the result. I intentionally turned down government people. And of course she was mad. Herher.
All and all, I know Allah is planning something greater in front. And maybe the offer was one of my prayers He granted—to continue my study when I’m healthy enough.
I don’t really like it as I already got my passion in doing business, but I trust Him. I just need time to sit down and sort everything out again. How my future is going to be, what I will achieve, how I’m going to make it happen, bla bla bla yada yada yada.
The very first thing I should be aware of; I have to make sure I don’t have to pay back RM110K to the government. *gloomy*
If by accepting the offer makes mom smiling back, I will do it. Although I have to crawl, hurting myself again and again, I have to make sure I succeed. I literally shouldn’t always follow my heart; this youth heart sometimes just keep wavering you know. Pft.
Allah put me in this kind of situation, I believe He surely will guide me through. He is the only one who never breaks His promises.
Be thankful for everything you do and do not get, never stop trusting in Him. He only gives the best for us.
“If you are grateful, I will surely increase you (in favors)…”- Ibrahim; 7
26122016:0030H - Bed; Kg Tebing Tembah
