POLYGAMY
[Plural Marriages]
- "how can you say your religion protects you women, yet you all can be married with the same guy? which part of justice for you?"
- "don't you ladies feel oppressed by sharing one husband?"
- "How come Muhammad was a great man, even he needed more than one woman to release his sexual lust?"
some of tough questions i got before. i believe even we muslims still not yet know more in this topic. as we feel comfortable enough with our status as a muslim, so we just accept all of the stories our teachers and preachers told us before. I was one of them too. thanks to my friends, made me realize to dig more about Islam, not just swallow everything without knowing the reasons.
well, the first thing, it is true. In Islam, it's legal for Muslim men to have plural marriage [polygamy]. BUT not more than 4 women. This doesnt mean Muslim women have no rights at all to say no to their husbands.
“...Marry of the women that please you, two, three or four, BUT IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO DEAL JUSTLY WITH THEM, THEN ONLY ONE.” [An-Nisa; 4:3]
Noted that polygamy is NOT a must.Well, to be frank, through history it's not Muhammad pbuh who started the polygamy. it's not only Islam religion which practices polygamy. The story began earlier and more than that. Muhammad then came to show us the right way to do so.
What are the wisdom of polygamy in Islam though?
There are three situations that makes this sort of marriage legal.
1. In the situation where the number of women are more than men.
2. In the situation of war; where typically men were killed more than women.
3. In the situation where man can provide financial, emotional and physical support and commitment EQUALLY to another.
However, if the husband cannot give the woman a child due to his health problem, the woman has her right to seek for a divorce and marry another man. But if it's vice versa, for man to fulfill his desire , he is allowed to marry again without divorcing his current wife, so the current wife still have someone to lean on, and get protection.
And, if the wife doesnt agree with her husband to marry again, SHE HAS HER RIGHT TO SAY NO.
There are three situations that makes this sort of marriage legal.
1. In the situation where the number of women are more than men.
2. In the situation of war; where typically men were killed more than women.
3. In the situation where man can provide financial, emotional and physical support and commitment EQUALLY to another.
However, if the husband cannot give the woman a child due to his health problem, the woman has her right to seek for a divorce and marry another man. But if it's vice versa, for man to fulfill his desire , he is allowed to marry again without divorcing his current wife, so the current wife still have someone to lean on, and get protection.
And, if the wife doesnt agree with her husband to marry again, SHE HAS HER RIGHT TO SAY NO.
To say that we are opressed by sharing a husband, for me it's nothing better than a husband that has only one wife, but has another women that we dont even know they ever exist at the wife's back. At least, by marriage everything he does with that 'another women' is legal, and he doesnt hide the fact from us.
Am I wrong?
But i myself prefer to NOT giving permission for my so-called husband to marry again, unless I die first. Haha.
I will explain more about Muhammad pbuh next time, insyaAllah. It's kinda long story. :)
May Allah bless you and me, who gives us chance to understand Islam more, who open our hearts and minds to think and start searching the blurry truth.
InsyaAllah. :)
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